Mike’s Dump

October 21, 2005

Pain A Mike’s Dump Point of View

Filed under: Home — mikesdump @ 4:27 pm

Today was a painful day. Not just a paper-cut kind of painful day but
the kind of pain you’d experience by having your eye scooped out by a
toothless mentally incompetent mutant with a spoon.

Here is the situation; you are watching your freshly plucked eyeball
roll down the road towards a sewer. In desperation you leap toward the
eyeball with hope you are able to grab it and a doctor can perform a
miracle and reattach it. But when you leap you trip over your own feet
and bang your head on the pavement. You land with such force both of
your hands ram through the bars of the sewer and with your remaining
eyeball you watch the other roll closer and closer to the sewer.
Finally, wobbling on the edge, plop! It’s gone and there is no hope of
recovery. This is the pain I am referring about.

At this point what do you do? Maybe you scream with frustration feeling
you were close to having chance at possible reattachment. Maybe you
start bawling like a baby in the fetal position (but of course you
can’t because the thumb you’d normally suck is stuck between the bars
of the sewer). Or maybe you laugh because it couldn’t possibly get any
worse (unless of course someone sees you in this position kicks you in
your good eye and steals your wallet). This is also like the laughing
like I did tonight during the 7-1 loss of the Edmonton Oilers (well I
swore at goals 1 to 4 but 5, 6 and 7 I laughed). Why limit yourself to

one emotional state when you can go through all three?

My day wasn’t that painful but it was pretty close (both of my eyes are
still intact). I also don’t suck my thumb… much… I mean anymore…
I mean ever. If I actually described the day it would negate all the
good the six beer I drank did so I won’t .Good night.


1 Comment »

  1. That’s right folks, Mike’s Dump turned one year old today. My very
    first post was an exciting one if…

    Comment by Mike's Dump — March 26, 2006 @ 8:48 pm | Reply

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