Mike’s Dump

October 24, 2005

Duct Tape

Filed under: Home — mikesdump @ 3:49 pm

I believe I have mentioned it before but one of the blogs I like to
read is The WTF Daily. I have this blog under “daily comics” along with
Dilbert and User Friendly. These are great blogs for first thing in the
morning to help start the day off on the right foot. After the
experience Sandy and I had tonight it had me thinking there has to be a
doctor’s version of this blog (WTF Were You Thinking, perhaps?).

I mentioned this morning from the Sobeys’ parking lot Sandy hurt her
knee. The doctor gave her some anti-inflammatory medication along with
Tylenol 3s. She was over at my sister’s this afternoon and went to sit
down on the couch. The couch was lower than she expected which bent her
knee farther than she should have. It hurt so bad she was in tears; her
knee had swollen up and went into a spasm. So when I got home we went
to the hospital to have it rechecked to see if there was anything else
wrong (they didn’t take x-rays this morning).

After going through admitting we were sent down to a treatment room for
less serious cases. There were a couple of beds with the drapes drawn
and a number of chairs setup in a semi-circle. Two doctors in the room
were talking to people directing them off to x-rays and other treatment
areas. It felt like the room was meant to crank people through as
quickly as possible. From a health care point of view I guess that is
what they want to do, help as mainly people as possible in the shortest
amount of time.

The problem with this approach is there is absolutely no privacy to
talk with the doctor. It felt more like group therapy then been treated
for a broken bone or something. With the doctor talking to the person
sitting right next to you can’t help but hear what their ailment is.
While hearing the stories of the other patients I started to think some
doctors would be able to share some pretty funny (sometimes twisted
funny) stories.

Tonight there was this one guy that I noticed holding his arm funny. I
just assumed he broke or fractured his arm. Sandy later pointed out to
me the real issue. The probably thirty-something guy had something
sticking out of his hand. I looked a little closer and realized it was
a nail. There was a nail right through his hand!

By itself this story could just go on one of those medical TV shows.
What would make an interesting blog would be how the guy gets the nail
through the hand. This gentleman is in construction and was training
someone to use a nail gun safely (yep training someone else). Not
realizing the nail gun was plugged in (probably something that should
be checked when training on safety) he shot himself through the hand.
He said he tried to pull the nail out himself but “it was in there
good”.

The other doctor patient exchange I found a little more amusing went something like this:

(All behind a drawn curtain � thank God)

Doctor: What brings you in today?
Patient: My ankles.
Doctor: What happened?
Patient: Well, you see, my socks wouldn’t stay up so I used some duct tape and taped them to my skin and socks so they would stay up.
(My first mistake was I looked at Sandy and we were both thinking the same thing� taped on socks)
Patient: I took the tape off and the skin was all raw and I wanted to have it form a scab so I put some talcum powder on it.
Doctor: How long was the duct tape on?
Patient: About a week.
(Now that paints a couple pictures. Either feet in socks that haven’t
been washed in a week or he is showering with the duct taped on socks)
Doctor: One week continuously?
Patient: (long pause) well.
Doctor: More than a few days?
Patient: Yes
Patient: So after a while I noticed this really, really bad smell and that is when I decided to come in.
Doctor: Yes� It looks like there is some puss under the skin.
Patient: No, it is more like
this bloody watery fluid. I know because I cut into it. Actually that
is when I noticed the extremely bad smell. It smells like rotten flesh.
(I had to leave the room at this point because I wasn’t going to be
able to contain my laugher because he kept going on and on about the
smell. When I came back in I noticed the room didn’t smell hospital
fresh.)
Doctor: Ok, we’ll freeze it up and get this cleaned up
Patient: Can’t you just take a scalpel to it? It’s ok because I feel absolutely nothing down there.
Doctor: Ummm� no we’ll freeze it first.

Yeah sure, I’m probably being insensitive because it sounds like the
situation is pretty serious but holy cow, the guy duct taped on his
socks and left them there for a week (at least that is what he admitted
too). Duct tape!

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3 Comments »

  1. Your RSS info is totally misleading! It implied that <b>you</b> were the one with these taped on socks!! From my reader:

    "Well, you see, my socks wouldn’t stay up so I used some duct tape and taped them to my skin and socks so they would stay up. (My first mistake was I looked at Sandy and we were both thinking the same thing taped on socks)…("

    Although, truthfully, this is probably a better story than hearing you blog about taping on your socks. Yike!

    Comment by Justice — October 25, 2005 @ 10:38 am | Reply

  2. Ya. I guess I could/should have included "Patient:" in the excerpt.
    I’d never consider taping on my socks… for more than a day anyways 🙂

    Comment by mike — October 25, 2005 @ 12:27 pm | Reply

  3. That was awesome. Forbid this guy bought large pants and didnt happen to have a belt or suspenders, or better yet a toque.

    Comment by Mitch — October 25, 2005 @ 1:38 pm | Reply


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