Mike’s Dump

July 20, 2007

Parenting 102

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 4:18 pm

The other day my parenting skills were put to the test. Isabelle and Erika were fighting (surprise, surprise) and after several minutes of unsuccessfully trying to block them out I thought maybe I should do something. Usually I wait until there is crying or silence. If there is crying it usually means one of them got their way. If there is silence then one of them could be suffocating the other.

As I got closer to hear what they were arguing about I heard something like this:

Erika: It’s my TV
Isabelle: No, It’s my TV
Erika: NO, IT’S MY TV
Isabelle: NOOOOO, IT’S MY TV

I’m sure you get the idea. Using my King Solomon like wisdom I yell down:


If that didn’t work then I would just split the TV in half. Easy!
Can you believe some people think it is hard to be a parent� sheesh!


March 19, 2007

My Most Successful Project this Year

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 10:54 am

The customer had no clue what they wanted but working closely with them, in short iterations, we nailed it! What we ended up with was a hole in the snow with a tunnel large enough for a 7 year old. Good thing the customer was interested in QAing the project themselves because the developer wasn’t capable of testing the final product.

February 10, 2007

Life will never been the same

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 2:17 am

On February 17th Isabelle will turn seven. Seven! It is unbelievable how quickly time goes by. Sandy had sent out some birthday invitations to her friends and asked for people to RSVP. In the past the parents have always called back but yesterday Sandy answers the phone and hears, “Hi, is Isabelle there?”

Sandy, caught a little off guard, said sure and called up Isabelle. Isabelle and her friend talked for at least 15 minutes! That is probably more time than I spent on the phone all last week. It is good to see my phone-a-phobia isn’t hereditary.

The immediate positive I see to having Isabelle’s ear glued to the phone is that it will mean more busy signals for telephone solicitors and less time I have to be on the phone. It really is a win-win for everyone.

April 16, 2006

Look what I found

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 2:14 pm

Warning: Some readers may find the following blog entry offensive. Reader discretion is advised.

There are some memories that can be easily captured with a single picture like in my previous post. But the funny stories (funny ha-ha or funny strange) that happen to us everyday are a little harder to capture. We have told this story to a few people now and Sandy and I agreed it needed to be captured. It may not benefit humanity as a whole but we will probably look back years from now and still laugh.
Sandy had to take the van in for its 50K check-up. Southgate Pontiac, where we take our vehicle for service, offers a free shuttle so you don’t have to sit and wait for your vehicle. Sandy and Erika (our 2 � year old) are riding back in the shuttle van with four other gentlemen. As they are driving down the road Erika says:
“Here mommy”, holding on to something small pinched between her finger and thumb.
Sandy looked around the van realizing it is pretty dirty reluctantly reaches out her hand and says, “Where did you get that”?
Erika quickly says, “My nose. I got it from my nose mommy” as she dropped it into Sandy’s open hand.
Sandy, at this point, is just sitting there trying not to laugh with a dried piece of snot in her hand. She doesn’t really know what to do with it because she is unsure if anyone else heard what Erika said. Finally, she drops “the deposit” on the floor and stares out the window trying to pretend the whole thing didn’t happen.
I’m sure you see what I mean. This gem of a story had to be captured. I think we’ll “dig it up” again when Erika gets married. Perfect for telling a bunch of people that just ate.

February 20, 2006

The Dad’s Survival Guide to Puke

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 1:22 pm

My older daughter turned six over the weekend and my younger daughter
is two and a half tomorrow. In my six years of being a dad I have seen
my fair share of puke. I’ve seen chunky puke. I’ve seen liquid puke.
I’ve seen puke that has made me ask, “When did you eat that”? I have
been puked on more times than I care to think about but fewer times
than my wife, which according to the official rules on the subject means I’m winning.

I wouldn’t consider myself an expert on puke but with the experience I
have, I thought it would be good to share a few pointers with new or
expecting dads.

Pick your puke carefully
While being a dad you are going to have to clean up some puke so pick your puke wisely.
Not all puke is created equal. Some puke you are going to want to clean
up and other puke you are not. I see three main categories:

1) Puke while eating.
This is the tamest puke you’ll find. If the child is old enough you can
try to explain the hard part with this food is done (it is already
chewed). If they look like they are buying into the idea but they are
sitting on the fence offer a straw and turn it into a game. Cheer them
on if you like. “Show that food who’s the boss”!

If they don’t like the idea of slurping up their own vomit with a straw
you can also try suggesting they lean their plate to one side so the
vomit doesn’t mix into the rest of their food. I would recommend you
get them to eat quickly though because you wouldn’t want to put that
plate in the microwave to heat it up.

Before you start judging me, no I have never done this to my kids. Sandy keeps telling me “that’s gross” and she won’t let me.

This is a puke you want to volunteer to clean up. Usually it is on the
plate and it is simply a matter of scrapping it into the garbage and
putting the plate in the dishwasher. You probably won’t earn many
brownie points but cleaning up puke is cleaning up puke.

2) Puke within 20 minutes of eating
This type of puke is usually caused by kids twirling around until they
can no longer stand right after they eat. While laughing hysterically
and falling all over the place it happens, {insert vomiting sound
effect here}. It is a pretty strange sight because this type of puke
really doesn’t faze the child and before the puke is cleaned up they
are probably asking for a snack while they continue to twirl.

Again, volunteer to clean up this puke. This close to being finished
eating the food is still chunky and probably doesn’t smell all that bad
yet. If you are lucky perhaps you had corn with the meal, we all know that stuff
never digests anyways right?

3) Puke 20 minutes after eating
Twenty minutes is just a rule of thumb. This value will vary from child
to child. At this stage the food is starting to digest. The supper is
mixing with the unprocessed lunch and breakfast and the florescent
green coleslaw from KFC that just doesn’t want to leave the body.
Once the child blows it is going to be scary and it is going to be

This is the type of puke that I would try to avoid cleaning up. Perhaps
this is a good time to rush off to the can and start moaning. After you
are behind the locked door yell out, “it must have been something we

If it didn’t smell good before�
From a puke perspective don’t feed your child anything, I mean anything,
that doesn’t smell good before they eat it. I’m starting to be able to
eat a little bit of feta cheese in some things but I still think the
stuff stinks. Feta cheese or anything equally as pungent probably
shouldn’t be a first choice when planning a meal for a child. If it
smelt bad going down it isn’t going to smell better coming up.

Is the carpet really worth saving?
Now I don’t mind being the hero when it comes to fighting off floating
shampoo bottles
or beating the fluff out of, well, fluff
but I’m not the type of hero that will dive with open hands to catch
puke before it hits the carpet. Carpet deodorizer was invented for two
reasons: pets and kids. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for putting
the hardworking people that create these products for us out of work
would you? I don’t discourage Sandy from making these incredible saves
because in the end it means less puke for me to clean.

To summarize: know your puke, watch what your kids eat and don’t be a
hero. If you can follow these steps you can probably avoid some of the
pain I went though. But even if you do go through some pain, it is all
worth it in the end

November 25, 2005

Focusing on crap will just wear you out

Filed under: Home,Kids — mikesdump @ 11:06 am

Erika on Potty

I took this picture originally just thinking it was funny. One minute
Erika is sitting back on her potty with her feet up on the chair and
the next minute the room is very quiet and I find her head down in a
deep sleep. Of course this picture will be one of many
that will need to be shared when she gets married.

After laughing at the picture it got me thinking that focusing on crap
is going to wear you out. I’m not talking about a bowel movement here
(I don’t know about you but I “pass my parameters” quickly so it isn’t
a problem for me) but the crap we face daily. Don’t focus on what you
can’t control but what you can. Don’t dwell on the problem but focus on
the solution. Remember one thing when faced with crap; it will pass if
you keep pushing on. Don’t let crap wear you out!

November 11, 2005

Beef ‘n Cheddar Curly Fries

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 5:11 am

As much as I despise television commercials they obviously have an
impact. Isabelle has been running around the house all morning singing:

Beef ‘n cheddar curly fries
Beef ‘n cheddar curly fries
Beef ‘n cheddar curly fries
Only for $3.99

If I place ads on my site using Google Adsense I would get paid for each click. I
figure if I turn Isabelle loose on the neighborhood with a megaphone
singing the Arby’s commercial I should get
a piece of that action as well.

Anyone know where I can buy a megaphone?

October 27, 2005

Bloggers, Bloggers, Everywhere

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 10:02 am

Blogging seems to be really taking off at work which I think is really
cool. Hopefully I’ll get to update this post as more developers start

Steven R
Tony L

August 22, 2005


Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 1:56 pm

Erika was hatched two years ago today!

Erika, how old are you?

Erika trying for two

(little help please auntie)

Erika getting help with two

(screw it) I’m two!

Erika did two

August 16, 2005

New Fears

Filed under: Kids — mikesdump @ 2:14 pm

Erika is an interesting little girl. I had mentioned before the fun
with shampoo bottles
and now there is something new to add to the list
of fears.

A couple days ago Erika let out an ear-piercing scream that could be
heard throughout the house. I ran over to see what was wrong fully
expecting to find blood gushing from her head. When I got there I did a
quick scan of her body and found no blood. She wasn’t holding any body
parts; nothing appeared to be wrong, well except for the ear-piercing
scream. When I ask what was wrong she pointed to her toe. After more
careful examination I saw there was a piece of thread about 30
centimeters long that she was dragging as she walked. Not cutting off
circulation, not caught on anything, it was simply that it was
following her.

Half an hour ago it happened again. The scream wasn’t as loud but I ran
over to her crib and check what is wrong. She shows me a loose piece of
thread on her pajamas. I broke it off and all is well.

Erika also has an issue with hair. If she finds a hair it doesn’t scare
her but it is the same reaction you’d expect from someone that doesn’t
like insects. I’m sure she can spot dog hair at 30 meters. When I got
home today she took me by the hand and lead me over to a piece of dog
hair. As she backs behind my legs she says, “yucky”.

I sure hope she doesn’t develop a fear of carpet or else getting around the house is going to be difficult.

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